insecurities are SO unattractive. my boyfriend gets so freaked out sometimes that i'm not physically attracted to him anymore. okay, when i don't feel like having sex or something, it's because i don't feel like it i mean if i were really that grossed out by him that i didnt even wanna sleep with him, then why the hell would i be with him? i mean theres really no nice way to tell someone to shut the fuck up sometimes, i just wish i could say it sometimes. he means well and he loves me but, it just gets on my nerves a lot. but it's so typical at the same time, most men believe they're more into it then we are and they become scared and uncomfortable. it's actually kind of cute when you think about it.


my weekend was alright, a more laid back one. watched some movies, played some kingdom hearts. and i really dont like the second one as much as i liked the first one. they changed too much in the second one, although i like the part where you can skip a scene. i mean it's just soo much talking and sooooo much back and forth i mean i've been to hallow bastion like 3 different times now! they should've stuck to the original formula.


well it's late, i must be getting off to bed!

soo as i sit here and play with this thing, i'm waiting the maury povich show. it cracks me up. these people on here, one of them had 13 kids, all by different mothers. that is fucking insane! :) anyways, i'm trying to make some friends on this thing, and i'm not sure how to go about it. haha i wish i had some friends on here to give me some help on how to use this thing.



well it's still crappy outside. and i'm really bored. myspace just isn't cutting it anymore. myspace is fun really. i just can't believe people are becoming famous for it now. i mean it's cool but it's just crazy. i really need a job, and i really need to quit smoking and start working out more. i live a pretty lazy lifestyle, and i'm getting sick of it. i also need to get into college or something. i don't know, i don't really want to go to school though. i really just wanna get married and be a wife. have kids, you know. sometimes i think im just a little too young to have that aspiration, i mean i'm only 18. but i mean ive met someone that i think that is a realistic option for us. who knows.


my bestfriend just got a job at some real estate company. i'm jealous. i mean i could actually GO and DO STUFF if i had a car. yeah i don't have one. my dad said he's gonna buy me one but yeah, that hasnt happened yet. well, i think im going to try and do something today. much love

Well here I am, bored out of my mind and it's about 1:30, it's raining and crappy outside. I was going to go lay out but I guess that's out. So I found this live journal thing, and I'm trying it out. Seems pretty interesting.


well i guess a little about me would be appropriate right? well i'm 18, i live in indiana- i've lived here my whole life. i'm a huge gamer. yes, yes- a girl gamer. we're a rare breed :) i especially love zelda, any RPG game really. right now i'm playing kindgom hearts 2. it's alright but i think i like the first one better. i have a boyfriend, and he's amazing. we've been together for about 7 months now. we dated for like ever, you know took it slow. i love south park, it is by far my most favorite show EVER. it kinda makes me feel old now, seeing how it's been syndicated and it's on it's 10th season. that show started when iw was in 4th grade. can you believe it? i live in carmel, and if you know anything about indiana, you'd know it's a place full of stuck up plastic barbie looking bitches. and the other half of it is white girls that think they're "hard" or "gangster". it's rediculous really, what happened to just being yourself? see that drives me crazy, the new MTV generation and everything. have you seen that show "my super sweet 16"? have you seen those girls? my god, they have cars that are worth houses before they even have a house! it's retarded, and i mean now they're projecting that image saying,"this is what's cool. this is what you should do. this is how you should be." oh well, can't win them all right? well i think thats enough for right now!h